Bernard the Barracuda
Once the boat stopped, we all pulled on our flippers and snorkel masks and hopped into the water. I had never snorkeled before, so I had no idea what to expect. Let me tell you, if you've never snorkeled, ease into the water...don't just hop in. I didn't think about the snorkel tube filling up with water. So when I breathed in, I took in about a half gallon of sea water. Naturally, in water that's 20 feet deep, in a daunting ocean, I felt like I was going to drown. Shane suggested I hold on to the ladder of the boat as I got accustomed to the choppy Gulf water. Nice thought, but that didn't work out too well.
I got frustrated and hopped back on the boat...actually I looked more like a sea lion at Sea World coming up onto the platform for a fish...
Figuring the money I paid was worth the boat ride, I just hung out on the boat, muching on fresh pineapple Smitty and Shane brought. Smitty started to cut up pineapple chunks and throw them into the water, and made the fish go nuts when the chunks hit the water. After awhile, Smitty called the rest of the guys in, and said we were going to a part of the reef that may have a little more action on it. He drove us out towards an old lighthouse that was built right in the water. He told Steve, Cory, and another guy with us to watch out for Bernard.
Bernard, it turns out, is a 6 foot barracuda who likes to terrorize snorkelers. Another nice thought. We're out here with maneating fish, and Smitty. Actually, in all seriousness, Smitty was a really cool guy, and had a lot of experience. We did end up feeling pretty safe with him...the guy knew what he was doing.
Anyways, the guys jumped in the water, and swam around a bit. All of a sudden, Larry shot back toward the boat, and ended up back on deck like lightning. He pulled off his flippers and was white as a ghost. I asked him what was wrong and he said he got a mouthful of seawater. Yeah, right.
Later on, we found out Larry saw a barracuda. Probably not Bernard, but hey, teeth are teeth, and they're way faster than we are. We get bit, sharks smell blood, we become lunch. No thanks. Better safe than sorry.
Smitty called the other guys back in, and we headed back. Before we left the dive shop, Smitty invited us to join him at a Gentleman's Club that night ( I hope anyone reading this knows what that is...no, not a gay bar either...or is it, Cory?). We had lots to do today yet. It was only about 4 in the afternoon when we got back.
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A baby seal walks into a club....ouch
Whatever MIkes tells you next is pure insanity. I did not go with them, because the sign said GENTLEMEN's club, so I was immediately disqualified. So, I had Milk and Cookies and went straight to bed. (At least I think that was the two names of the twins. Ha!)
"I hope I'm in the FUNNIES before I'm in the Obits."