Quinceanera

Christmas 2005, our family was deep in grief over the recent death of our son Bill.  We had always gathered in some fashion over the holidays, for special meals and rituals - and Young Bill was the biggest proponent of these events.  None of us could face the empty-feeling holidays with our usual festivities.  What to do?  Son Jason invited us to his home in Allentown, Pennsylvania, and Bill and I, along with our oldest daughter Becki and her husband Joe, accepted this invitation.

Jason works with Brandenburg Demolition, and has many Mexican colleagues.  Although Bill and I had never met these fine gentlemen, they had sent cards, flowers, and prayers when Young Bill died.  And shortly after our arrival in Allentown on December 23, Joelle called with an invitation to an impromptu taco party.  We were intrigued, and excitement built throughout the bluesy afternoon.

We drove to Joelle's home, a split-level in a modest neighborhood, and followed our noses to the garage.  It was filled with large grills and long tables; the men prepared the meats while the women chopped and prepared the other ingredients.  After meeting dozens of relatives, we were taken through their kitchen to the family room, where the older men played cards while the kiddies chased each other around.  More and more relatives kept arriving throughout the evening, and this was due to the next night's planned festivities - Joelle's brother Carlos's only daughter, Sandra, was celebrating her Quinceanera.

Quincenaera is a huge event in a young Mexican girl's life.  It marks her move into adulthood and is rich with family and cultural meaning.  Although we had never met Carlos and his family until the taco party, he had sent us by mail an invitation to Sandra's party.  Jason advised us that we should attend, and we're so glad that we did.

At Joelle's taco party we met Joelle's and Carlos's parents and siblings, manyof whom had traveled from Mexico for this important occasion.  The family tree is so large that many from the midwest chartered a bus from Chicago to Allentown; 57 relatives filled that bus!

On Christmas Eve we joined the celebration at a magnificent local party room.  On the gift table was a Quinceanera doll, the room was set as if for a wedding reception, with round tables for eight throughout the room set with beautiful linens, crystal, and flatware.  Carlos was in a tuxedo, his wife Letitia in a gorgeous gown, but the crown jewel of the evening was lovely young Sandra, dressed in a long white gown with a deep red sash, and the long gloves that you haven't seen for decades.  Her hair was piled on top of her head, and she was truly a beautiful young woman.

During the event, in addition to an exquisite meal, we were treated to a mariachi band that strolled from table to table playing requests.  After dinner, there was dancing until the main event. 

This involved a special blessing by the local priest, a speech by Carlos, and a special song performed by Sandra.  There was so much love and community interwoven with these rituals that it truly helped our broken hearts to heal. 

Nothing rivals family rituals to keep us grounded.  And we will forever remember the deep kindness of relative strangers who reached out to us in our darkest time.