Parental Semantics
I've found myself with a whole new vocabulary now that i am deep in the throes of motherhood. I've had to chuck some of my favorite words (some that rhymed with chuck, actually) and also had to learn that little pitchers have big ears, and also can repeat those things (glad i got to learn that the hard way.)
But also a lot of things in parenting are all in how you phrase it. For example, my baby sister loved broccoli, but wouldn't eat cauliflower. So my mom told her it was white broccoli and BAM, she chowed. So it's how you frame things.....semantics.
Semantics are defined as the study of meanings of words or the language used to determine a desired effect, as in advertising. That's me, the Madison Avenue Maven of Mamas, using the right term to get the results she wants.
For a few years, we had everyone calling hamburgers "flat meatballs" to entice our daughter into eating them. (she wouldn't eat hamburgers, but would devour "flat meatballs") We called private parts 'front tush' and 'back tush' (i was never keen on 2yr olds discussing their vaginas) Doctor's visits were "playdates with Dr D---", and the TV had to 'take a nap' when we were done watching it.
Tonight was a topper for me though. My kids love pineapple, and in the carefree (read: work outside the home--free) summer, I'd buy one and chop it up. Well reality is back here, and I bought some cans of Dole on sale. The first couple I bought were chunked, no prob. Tonight's was crushed pineapple. Hmm. NOt exactly the consistency or look desired by the dinner crowd. So i told them it was "pineapplesauce" which i found to be totally ingenius!
So what are your Parental Semantics?? I'd love to see how others use the powers of language to get their way with their kidlets.
P.S.: um, yeah, they didn't buy "pineapplesauce" I had to put whipped cream on it.
Comments
This may backfire
When i was young(er), My mother started us off by just making us sit at the table till we would eat it or she would give up. We really didnt want to eat it or stay there but my sister and I would be there still, 3 hours going strong. We would use the fact that the food had gotten cold or keep pleading our case that there was something wrong with the food.
My mom trys to feed us as healthy of food as possible. Vegies are served with no butter, no salt, not additives. She wouldnt barely serve us vegies from a can. It was always from our own home grown garden. (Now I love canned vegies... Barely ever had them before). After so many years of being on a healthy food making click she runs into a lot of food that we give her the looks on because we are wanting some type of good flavor to. The food usually isnt bad its just nothing great. Lemon chicken was the best thing when she rolled that out onto the table one day.
We got older and she came out with this idea to put bacon in with a plate of corn for a family christmas meal. Trying to add something to it that would make it more desireable. I give my mom props for trying but bacon in corn. I believe it was actually called baked or creme corn. This dish though had bacon sprinkled all over the top of it. First person to look at the corn ask my mom what fell into the corn and she says "Its bacon, I made it feastive corn." 8 years later and three years of making sure that my mother didnt make the corn for the christmas family dinner, we still remind her of that nobel decision when we see something else semi odd at the table. Its always brings back memories of that feastive corn.
Driven to distraction
I've found that the actions of fellow drivers pose some real challenges when there's a kid strapped into the seat behind me. The emotions that emerge when faced with those sudden lane changes, irratic stops, life-threatening passing, and other stupid things that happen on the road around me are heightened with the presence of precious young passengers. That split second when my brain urges me to simultaneously issue a loud expletive while at the same time reminding me "not in front of the children" has often resulted in some interesting blurts. The most enduring has been adopted not only by my generation of kid shuttlers, but also by THOSE kids as they now acquire their licenses. It's become a family tradition -- other drivers that do stupid things are referred to as "stickheads."
There are also a few fun comments that we developed to diffuse the tension of sometimes scary road situations. Driving in the dark during a snow storm, when the headlights make the snow coming toward you look like that funky screen saver is called "hyperdrive," a reference to the look of the viewing screen of the Starship Enterprise as the captain directs "engage." No trip would be complete without at least once yelling "no road -- aaaaaaaaaaa!" as we crest a hill and the road appears to disappear.
And, of course, someone has to moo at every cow . . .
Meatcakes
Your story made me remember a friend I had in Western Pennsylvania. She talked about growing up poor, and being fascinated by her more affluent classmates in high school. They would go out for hamburgers, and she was so curious and - yes - jealous! She wanted to have a hamburger. Finally her boyfriend asked her out for a hamburgr one night. She discovered that it was no different than what her mom served, except for the name. At home they were meatcakes! Anne H.